24 hours to live
Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news. Patient: Well, might as
well give me the bad news first. Doctor: The lab called with your test
results. They said you have 24 hours to live. Patient: 24 hours! That's
terrible! What could be worse? What's the very bad news? Doctor: I've been
trying to reach you since yesterday.
I want a
second opinion
Doc tells a guy he has a bad heart. The guy says "I want another opinion."
The doc says "OK, you're ugly too."
An invisible man is here to see you
Nurse: Doctor, there is an invisible man in your waiting room.
Doctor: Tell him I can't see him now. Next.
A
very interesting fact
Doctor: Did you know that there are more than 1,000 bones in the human body?
Larry: Shhh, doctor! There are three dogs outside in the waiting room!
Get a heart transplant
A new arrival, about to enter hospital, saw two white coated doctors
searching through the flower beds.
"Excuse me," he said, "have you lost something?"
"No," replied one of the doctors. "We're doing a heart transplant for an
income-tax inspector and want to find a suitable stone."
A man with a glass eye is here to see you
Nurse: Doctor, there is a man in the waiting room with a glass eye named
Brown.
Doctor: What does he call his other eye?
You're
in great health
Doctor: You're in good health. You'll live to be eighty.
Patient: But, doctor, I am 80 right now.
Doctor: See, what did I tell you.
What is your
problem?
Doctor: What seems to be the trouble?
Patient: Doctor, I keep getting the feeling that nobody can hear what I say.
Doctor: What seems to be the trouble?
Will I live any longer?
Patient: Doctor, if I give up wine, women, and song, will I live longer?
Doctor: Not really. It will just seem longer.
